Follow-up of arguing with myself..

What I wrote down there, in "First argument" is in a way a social function in our everyday lives that put boys and girls in different places throug childhood - and after that throug adulthood.

BUT isn't it a right to act like a girl, or like a boy? How many are we that use it as an excuse "Oh, but he's a boy!" or "But's I'm a woman, I'm entiteld to nag". Isn't it my Right to dress in pink dresses and wear makeup - no matter my age? And isn't it my husbands right to snuff, lay on the couch and watch old westerns? Well, of course it is!

If I feel the need to dress up in my skimpy little black dress (that's just a creation of my imagination, i don't have one) put some highheels on, fix my hair and paint my nails and go out partying - isn't it my right to do so?

Am I bad for having a sparkly purse?
Or for letting my (again - imagination) daughter try a bra on when she's 6?

NO.
For, as all it is, is a Choice.
And the -Right- to make that choice.

But we have to realize that the choices we make, and what we do in everyday life will affect our children. Now, once again, I'm taking my mother as an example.

I have seen her wearing ballgowns, "Lady in red" like dresses, high heels, fixed up and "womanized" to her teeth. And from my younger years I can not remember my mother -not- wearing nailpolish. She's been a modern, fancy Lady.
Who's been able to change too...

The other part of my mother is the "girl" in a coverall, pitchfork in on hand and a horse in the other. A "girl" that wears out her rubberboots in a matter of months. A "girl" that can fork boxstalls, break horses (teach them to be rode for you who don't know the terms) lung, grounddrive, drive. A "girl" that was our "moped mechanic" in our younger years.

I know she taught me that there's to sides, and choices to be made. She made the choice of being both parts, the hands on working "girl", and the modern, somewhat flashy lady at work. And I know she affected my brothers view on women too.

She's a powerfull woman. For me, she's in Idol. And a teacher. She taught us kids to look further than someones outside, taught us that true strength has nothing to do with fysical appearence. And that know a lot about a lot beats knowing everything about something.

So..
The -right- we all have is to make active choices. And life -is- all about making an active choice. The only thing in life we can't choose is when to die, a natural death I mean by that. From our first breath we can make active choices, but we get affected by others active choices too!

So..
Dressing up like Paris Hilton, teaching our little daughter to "wiggle her bum" at an early age, it's an active choice WE make that Will shape her personality. For a childs personalitys foundation isn't established untill the age of 7.

And I make a choice how to dress, even how to act, depending on the situation around me. Armed with that knowledge thanks to my mother, I can blend in, "fit in". I might not like it, and in most cases I realy Don't. But I can change my appearence, add a few giggles and discuss clothes for hours if needed. I'd Rather have my hair in a mess, wear jeans and a sweatshirt and talk about the dogs or the horses. Discuss the latest "modern" bloodlines. During most social occations when a "female appearance" is to prefer, I wish I was in a barn forking horsepoop.

But I think that teaching our daughters and sons this, we help them from becoming stereotypes. We help them to see deeper than the exteriour of a person, and they'll learn that what you see isn't All that's there.

..and that it IS an active choice. How we shape our children, It's not all tvs fault, nor the videogames, computorgames or their classmates.

It's Ma and Dad.